Ramadhan towards the end.

Ramadhan will come to an end soon. Everything is still very fresh in mind. Too many things to be thankful for this year. Yasmeen fasted without a fuss this year.. unlike last year when she just started fasting, though she completed the whole month, there were times when she lay flat on the floor while waiting to break fast. This year, she did it easy! alhamdulillah...

Eid's preparation was done quite last minute. Usually we did our shopping before Ramadhan even started. This year it was done on the 2nd week of Ramadhan. I remember listening to a sermon which the Ustaz asked a question "Do we actually deserve to celebrate Eid when we havent' even started fasting yet?".

Ramadhan each year has its own memories. I remember Ramadhan 2002 when I was heavily preggy with Yasmeen and I only managed to fast on the 1st day. Gave birth to Yasmeen in the month of Ramadhan.

Allah gave us test to see if we could pull through. I was given a test to show how life has been so kind to me. It also reminds me of the life can be so short and nothing matters more than the life of our loved ones. We often took things for granted. Alhamdulillah.. I was given a 2nd chance. To live life the fullest. A 2nd chance to everyone else around me. I could not image having survived the accident but lost any one of my kids or lost my husband.

Hannah is more attached to me now though she still cling on mummy most of the time. I refuse to hang on the walking frame too much which makes Fendi constatly nagging near my ears! heheh sorry darling.. it is so bored having to hold that thing.

Mummy is still around helping me at home. Her place is now like an abandoned ship! Though I can walk almost steadily but I still could not squad down and bending knees is much much easier. I hope mummy do not have to be here for too long.. I think she deserve her good rest and relax.. Alhamdulillah she is very healthy.. very strong and the fact that all of us are ok is the only single thing that matters to her.

Mak (mum in law) on the other hand felt rather lonely. Its been almost 3 months now and I still did not go back to Melaka. We are usually back in Melaka once a month. Each time I call she would ask "Are you coming back to Melaka for Raya?"and I would give her an undefinite answer. I felt honoured, appreciated. She actually missed my presence in her house. I remember her crying when she first came to visit me after I was home from Ampang Puteri.

After this accident, am I a different person altogether? how has this tragic accident affect me? well, for instance, I appreciate life more. I am not a different person.. not at all... I am still very strict with the girls.. scold em, cane em, punish em when needed not because I don't feel how lucky I am to still have them but to ensure that I don't 'blow' the 2nd chance. Whats wrong is never right no matter how. I love them dearly, too much even and that is why I wanted to as much as possible guide them to the right path.. what every parents must do. I still scream sometimes (heheh)

But... I see life very very differently.. I appreciate each and every relationship.. family ties, friendship. Nothing is more important than family and friends. No matter how big a misunderstanding or a fight be it can never be more important or big enough to end those 2. I am sure hating someone can be very easy but believe me, leave it aside, start with a smile and forgive.. you gain a friend.. so why not?

Until this day I still could not find not even 1 single enemy.. but I do have so many friends and counting.

May Allah made the life of the people around me easy, guide and help me the same way they have helped me when I was in difficulties. Amin....