No pain, No gain. Very true.. very very true.
I once told my friends in the office that I have never been through an operation and I don't wanna! Never thought that I will someday what more such a major operation. I was in such terrible pain.. I actually wanted the operation to be done as quickly as possible so that I can get better before my kids or at least look 'better' for them. I m not complaining although I know I might not look as good as I was but the least is I don't look scary.(scar-y is ok I guess).
When I was in the Emergency Room @ Sungai Buloh, I heard my kids crying. I call up to them but because I was weak, I sounded like I was whispering. A few times the attendants came to me asking, "Kenapa kak?" (What is it, sis?) and I said I wanna see my kids. But they just said a simple 'no'. There is this Chinese Guy Dr. whom was suprised when I speak Cantonese to him. He was very nice and he kept explaining my condition and what are their plans for me. After the accident (abt 5.30) until midnight, I was not allowed to have a drink but finally, abt 12.30 the nurse came in with a BIG bottle of purple water (grape flavour ok?!) which she said to finish it up for the CT Scan.. She even said to me.. "Minum sikit2 la kalau pahit ye kak.. ni ubat untuk CT Scan" (Sip it slowly if taste bitter.. its for the CT Scan) to her suprise I drink the med so quickly she asked, "OK a? u drink up so quickly?". I stop sipping, looked at her and said "Dik, any drink of water no matter how it taste like, taste soooo nice to me now!" and the nurse laughed!
Anyway, after I was a bit ok, they finally allowed me to see my family. My brother came. I can see from his eyes that he was really shocked to see his sister like that! He assured me that everything will be fine. Confirmed that Sarah was in ICU.. the word ICU was like a bit BANG! to my head.. My brother like his usual self.. gave me this reminder that after that keeps me going.. "U must get well!, must be strong! don't ever give up!" and his final remark when I said thank you was "U spend me, spend me a". I finally realize the love he has for me.. I truly, truly touched.. For a few days after that he juggle work and visiting Sarah in the hospital. I know everyone missed Sarah at that time.. those who know Sarah, have seen her knows how adorable she is. Later, my mother came in holding Hannah, my mum looked worried and I told her that I feel ok adi.. not to worry ( who would believe that rite?!) Hannah was restless and don't wanna come near me.. I do look horrible at that time I guess.
I gain so much more... Before the accident, I have this friend in the office (u know who u r a, J) we are not enemy but we have bad experience together, we are not so close/jolly good friend but we often irritate each other. Once she even said that she will b the happiest person if I left the company. After I have settled down, one of the 1st person I think of was her! believe it or not.. she has more than 1/2 the criteria of the ppl I would avoid and at the most critical time in my life I was thinking about her simply because.. in my heart, in my mind I said "I still have a chance to hold her hand and ask for her forgiveness.. for what ever". By saying this, it doesn't mean that I don't think of my really good friend... Shanti, Lalitha, Laily (among the first person to get the news from me, crying from the moment she receive the sms until god knows when), Rudy, many more..I even thought about the translation work which I was suppose to do!
After what has happened to me, I realize that nothing in this world matters anymore! I am still alive and all those little things (no matter how bad the 'fight' is) doesn't matter at all to me.
Little did I realize (until much later) that I DO NOT have any enemy but I have so so many Friends.
I have a HUGE circle of FAMILY ties and people who are willing to do anything for me. Including, bathing me, nursing me, taking care of me and see me in my most embarrassing moment!
I have a wonderful Husband who is willing to take care of me in my most helpless condition.
I have a really strong mother (physically, she is really fit) to help me with the kids at home. Who always hide her sorrows from me and stay strong for me!
I have good, great, helpful, generous, wonderful bosses, Mr & Mrs Rajiv Vijayanathan and Ms. Rebecca Jeyanthi Selvaraj n her sister Deborah.
Last but not least, I have all the love in this world anyone could ask for.. and I only realize that I have that after going through this 'test' Allah has fated for me.
I can say that I accept this 'test' as a 'Blessing' in disguise. I know that this is a reminder for me that there are no greater power than Allah when at one point I truly believe only Allah could help Us now, hence I only ask for people who know us to Pray for our family.
As at last night, I went out for dinner with the kids and my mother. My first ever outing after almost 1 1/2 months indoor! It was a good one except of the 'look' on other people's faces seeing a lady in a wheel chair. Some even stop and walk back to see clearer what has happen to me.. see? see? I am still attractive (with the wheelchair la!) he he..
Those who came to visit me.. I bet u guys remember what I said. As long as my girls are all OK. I will be! and Alhamdulillah.. They are and I am.
I don't mind the pain.. but I am truly 'syukur' with my GAIN.
I better log out now.. Sarah is beside me asking 'How many more minutes?" she's waiting to use the pc!
Liza
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