A Degree of Survival

If you read through my previous blog post, U might came across a post about what I have been longing for. I wasn't an A Star student during my school years.. and I remember working hard to get good results despite the everytime 'cukup-cukup makan' (passing marks) for my math paper since form 1, I attended extra classes, study groups and all only to get just a Pass for my SPM Math paper but I always have a very very deep interest in writing, both in Bahasa Melayu and English and I love to read. Why is my math paper be relevant? coz I remember people say u must have good results in Bahasa Melayu, English and Math to get a place in Universities... maybe that's true..

I do not wish to rewrite in full how I was unable to further my studies and foolishly taken 2 certificates which I am doubtful that it was even accredited by MQA. I was not given any other better options at that time. My applications to local Universities and UITM (ITM at that time) was not successful even after 3 attempts so I had to take some course to make use of my 1st Grade SPM. I remember friends who got only a 2nd grade and 3rd grade made their way to ITM at the least. I was disappointed. And the disappointment continues to eat up the rest of me for quite some time..  :P

I am saying this not trying to make anyone feel sorry for me, please don't as I am merely telling you how I feel.

When I looked back at my photos before my accident injury.. I often say to myself, If only I knew this was gonna happen, I would've taken more pictures of myself smiling :) . Sometimes,when I am talking to a stranger, they will look at me trying to figure out what has happened to me. Even passer by would sometimes turn to have a 2nd glance of me. I must admit I feel ashamed, sometimes low self esteem. But things always change when I tell myself..

"No.. u should not be! u survived and god has chose you to live to tell your side of the story. A person may have a 1-2 life experience to tell about but you? You have loads.. from childhood, to teenager, to marriage and to parenthood and all those were extraordinary in their own way.. things that u don't hear from normal people.. you are special in everyway and u have everyone else to make you stronger"

I should get up and do what I have been dreaming of for so long.. now! now that I can afford to. I started searching for courses, degrees I am eligible to apply with my SPM + 2 certificate. I have some option to apply for degree program for working adults and I will apply.

I survive a massive accident with blessings from Allah. I was given a second chance to do what i have wanted to do for so long. People might not see that I have change but inside only Allah knows. I share the same feeling with Yasmeen's dentist Dr. Marjinah whom also survived 3 massive accident. We both feels that life is 'too short to take into account those little disagreement and to fight over petty matters as We should cherish life while we still can'..

So, bottomline is, I will try my luck you know with this university application thingy but whether my application is accepted or the other way round, I am cool with that. It will be if it is meant to be.

Hope this short n simple post will inspire you the way it had gotten me to get up, chins up, look straight and walk with pride. It doesnt matter the war, what matters is you win the battle and live to tell the story...

Take care..