I have been quiet for so long.. have i got nothing to tell, nothing to share or i just could not make time for my old fav thing to do.. write..
About 1.5 years ago I decided to finally tender my resignation. A plan that was K.I.V after we all met with the tragic car accident. I thought for as long as I can that, that accident was the worst thing could happened in my life. I really do.. after Sarah recover from her injury tremendously, with no side effect and a complete stop to her epilepsy medicine, I often think it is like a miracle.. she is such a magic.. She will once in a while for about 2-3 months after the recovery relate to us how she saw this person wearing all white taking her up to the sky.. she call tht 'person' - misterkejo.. who is this misterkejo? what does he do to Sarah? all remains a mystery only Allah knows.. wallahu alam..
Now sitting here in the living room with all the memories flashing in my head.. I have a blue wall to my right with Sarah's handwriting. She wrote -SARAH.. she scribble everywhere.. those days i used to grumble how my nice clean wall became all mural like with her drawings and handwriting.. now all i want to do now is to preserve this wall.. never never never ever going to repaint it as I will never have to chance to see that handwriting again if I do so...
So how is this Sarah Khadijah like? is she really such an angle? I can proudly say.. Yes, she is.. she was a chubby wubby little baby.. at the age of 6 years, 11 months, she weights 39kg. her last weight. But i still during the past few days before she left me, carry her and say she will forever be my baby.. something I love to do to all my girls including my eldest Yasmeen now age 10. Sarah will smile, I will kiss her forehead, rub her tummy and said.. Mama love arah... and she will say.. Arah love mama jugak..
After I was being discharged from the hospital (i was hospitalized 21 days) I came back home so glad i could hug my girls again and to see Sarah running and singing like normal again.. She helped me bathe, most of the time trying to hold me up, help me wipe my body and apply the gel on my scar. When I complained about my ugly scar she will say "Arah tengok cantik je mama ni.." sometimes she will cry if I said I look ugly.. and keep repeating and assuring me that i look good..
She loooooves being a princess.. She always told all of us how she love to be the princess, I will be the Queen and her father the King.. She has such sweet princess like smile.. I can truly say not one person ever say they hated her.. She capture your heart with just a simple smile..
Sarah is very sensitive, a heart full of love, If i am upset of something she easily cried and she will straight apologize with tears rolling down from her chubby cheeks.. how I miss those cheeks.. the smell! Mama miss arah very much.. Arah.. u really smell like heaven..
I intend to write down each and every memory I could remember with Arwah.. to those who is following, if i happen to repeat the same memory, please forgive me as I am just another mother missing her child who will not be able to hold her until a day where we finally meet at the heaven's door in shaa allah..
Liza Masrina Ibrahim
30 November 2012 - 9.37pm
