I was so quiet lately.. even during the month of Ramadhan as well as Syawal. I hardly post anything here about my fasting and my Aidilfitri celebration. Alhamdulillah, all was well and I was given the opportunity to once again celebrate Hari Raya as well as my 32nd birthday! Most of the time my facebook will be most active. I was kept busy.. busy with all the preparations for my brother's wedding on the 1st of October, insya-allah.
Yasmeen wasn't my first 'baby'. I have another 'baby' whom I cared for since he was a few months old. At an age where mother could not bear to stay even a few hours apart from her child, this mother left her son to the babysitter. Following her disappearance, many other things have happened.
When his mother left, this 'baby' cried almost every night. He cling on her mother's 'sarong' and cried to sleep. Soon he was attached to me. I carried him everywhere I go. I was then 9 years or so.. I feed him, bathe him, care for him, did everything a mother should do for a child.
When my late father brought us to Melaka, we go through many other tough times together. This little boy was almost 'sold' to a Singaporean parent. I was against the idea and was hugging him every night from the day I was told he was to be 'sent off' to Singapore.. I beg and beg and beg and finally, my father changed his mind and he too could not bear sending his child off to a foreign country.
When we were staying temporarily at a double storey home belonged to the Welfare Department, my father was then a security guard and he works on shifts. When he was on his night shift, he will only be back at home after I left for school. So, this little baby, then 1+, sleeping soundly was left at home with a bottle of milk by his side. There was once when we (myself and another brother going kindy) came home from school and our father was working overtime, the baby was not in the living room. I found him standing outside at the balcony hands holding on the big black tank of water coz his diapers was all soiled. God knows how long he had been standing there under the hot sun.
I remember on my 12th birthday, my father bought me a cake and after I cut the cake he lying on his back predicting what will be 20 years later. He said that 'baby' will be pampered and well taken care of as myself and our brother will be working already. He made me promised I will take care of 'baby' and never send him away no matter what. In his letter to my mother, in the same year, he asked for the same promise. We never knew why..
Though he was a very very well behaved 'baby', no one really hold him, cuddle him as we normally see people would do to babies. He was most of the time alone.. playing on his own. When I went to school, he will sit still and play on his own at my grandparent's house and I will settle him when I come home. He will be all happy and cheery when he's with me. And since I stay with my mother, I will send him back to my grandparent's home at night.
When my father passed away, (Al-fatihah to him) my 'baby' has no one else left for him except me. At that point of time there weren't much I can do except hoping that he could stay with me. My mother was asked, who would take care of 'baby' from now on?? My mother took up the responsibility. Why? maybe she remembered the content of the letter and maybe she silently promised my father. She feed him, schooled him, gave him clothes, home and love he never gets from his own mother.For a Woman to take in the son of another woman who came between her husband and herself to me is not easy and yet, My mother did it with her own free will.
I remember one of our relative tried to take 'baby' to be their adopted son and my mother came and took us all home! My mother knows how much I love the little boy and for that she said that I should care for him.
Now, today, as the wedding date approach and I have much to do, I found joy in doing each and every bit of it knowing that someday, when my then 'baby' now handsome young brother look at his wedding album, he will tell his children that I did all of it..
More than that I always keep in mind, close at heart, the hope, the promise, the vision my later father once told me over and over again.. To take good care of 'baby', don't let anyone harm him and make sure he is not sent off..
I pray for your happiness as I have always did my 'baby'. May your life be filled with love, joy, may you find peace and content in your other half and share a lovely life together.. to my ever loved brother Khairil Adnan Ibrahim.. you are my brother, my son, my baby and I love you!
